happy birthday claire.

i just need more sleep.
serious.
im getting tired.
of so much.
of thinking.
of missing.
of taking steps back when i should be taking steps forward.
gosh.
this is so not good.
not good at all.

there are things that i know i should do.
but i do i go about doing it?
or just give up.
and see what god has in store for me.

sometimes joys is the source of you smile.
but sometimes.
you smile can be your source of joy.
i live by the quote right now.
since nothing much can make me happy.
i'll make myself happy by smiling.
like how brother arin told me.
smile cause you know that its going to get better.
and maybe its really going to get better.
i know it is.

i still miss you.
you pop into my mind so often.
even though i'm supposed to forget.
it isnt kinda working.
claire was asking why you didnt wish her happy birthday.
maybe its cause you didn't know.

i hate hangovers.
i really do.